the light has arrived

Excuse me while I take a break from dancing in the living room to type out this post. The relief feels immense as I read the words "CLEAN MARGINS & LYMPH NODES NEGATIVE" on my latest Froedert My Chart notification! GIANT exhale...

As you all know the surgery last Wednesday was successful. Thank YOU for all the loving texts & thoughtful gifts before during and after. You have helped me SO INCREDIBLY MUCH. Navagating this week has been an odd journey but it was made better because of your love & support. The most curious thing to me was the absence of pain after surgery. I did take Tylenol in the beginning, but overall I was extremely surprised & relieved by this. Yesterday was my post op appointment and they confirmed that I am healing right on schedule. In fact, the drain may even come out sooner than anticipated... so glad. It's really the trickiest part to manage. This should mark the end of any further treatment needed for me. So grateful.

Today was another energy appointment where Jerry gently & effectively sort of placed my energy body back into my body. Hard to describe but I'd been feeling "left of center" for most of the week, although he did come to the house to clear me of the anesthesia the day we returned from the hospital. Today he confirmed that I was indeed energetically "left of my body" due to the stress/trauma of that day. Sometimes its safer to retreat sideways than go all in, I guess. ;) His energetic cancer protocol has definitely balanced my mind body and spirit throughout these past three months. Including a chance to be the "practice body" at one of his advanced classes. It was great to experience so many healing hands and give feedback to help them learn to help others in this situation.

So next week I start PT for the coming weeks and I am honestly looking forward to the rebuilding process. I have a new respect for the strength of my mind BODY and spirit. I have learned so SO much about myself since August 3rd. And it is clear to me that this is just the beginning. This process does not end here but I am really looking forward to kicking this full time "health job" to the curb for a while to embrace a bit more "normalcy"... whatever that may look like.

The shoes pictured above have walked me in and out of so many hospital doors, appointments in buidings I had previously felt foreign to. They have walked me through forests to regroup and into some shockingly jarring conversations and some very unexpected ones too. Through it all they reminded me of who I really am and helped me keep my humanity throughout this process. And while this crazy journey is not entirely over, it has unfolded and ebbed and flowed and crushed me all at the same time. And now BEAUTIFUL BODIES, the show that I poured so much of this weird anxt into, symbolically & quietly comes to a close in two days on October 31st while I am left moving forward... processing this whole experience... and slowly getting used to and having a much greater respect for my newly altered, albiet still incredibly AMAZING & awe-inspiring, BEAUTIFUL BODY.  Much love & gratitude. xx m